To go or not to go... that is the question

I recently broke my wrist, thankfully it hasn’t stopped me from doing much (apart from the washing up – gutted!)  I broke my arm once previously when I was 8.  I was in the hospital for 3 days with my arm elevated in support to reduce the swelling.  In the bed opposite from me was a classmate who had broken his leg (I forget how).  He was in traction for 6 – 8 weeks, unable to move.  In the bed to the right of me was a lad who had also broken his leg (skipping!) and was also in traction for 6 – 8 weeks.

It’s got me thinking – they couldn’t go to school, for 6 – 8 weeks, and yet I don’t recall them having any alternative schooling put in place.  These days, if your child ended up in hospital for an extended stay, your local authority would be required to provide alternative education.

It’s easy to see that a child in a hospital bed is unable to attend school due to ‘illness, exclusion or otherwise.’  When a child is refusing to attend school due to high levels of anxiety, it appears the lines are far less clear cut.  These children are being failed as they fall through the gaps in the system.

Many parents, somehow manage to get their highly anxious children into school on a daily basis.  Despite the refusal, the tears and whatever else is thrown at them, somehow they manage to talk their child into school.

I know this was me.  Even though my son was clearly massively upset by going into school, I still persisted because, well, it was my role as a parent – to ensure he attended school.  Now I know that children don’t have to go to school, there is elective home education.  We had decided to go the school route, so that meant he was expected to be there, and we were expected to send him in.  I even blackmailed him into going in – yes, that’s right – I told him that I would get into trouble with the police if he didn’t go to school.

However, he was masking in school.  He didn’t present with all the anxiety there, and so there was no shared understanding of the problem.  As his attendance didn’t reflect the extent of the problem, it really wasn’t visible to the school.  Then one day, I decided that his mental health and emotional well-being was more important than him going to school.  I effectively accepted he had the equivalent of a broken leg, and needed time to heal.

It is a little known fact, that parents are able to sign their children off school.  Even for long periods of time, it is not necessary to provide a doctor’s note.  The guidance from the DfE states: 

Schools should advise parents to notify them on the first day the child is unable to attend due to illness. Schools should authorise absences due to illness unless they have genuine cause for concern about the veracity of an illness. If the authenticity of illness is in doubt, schools can request parents to provide medical evidence to support illness. Schools can record the absence as unauthorised if not satisfied of the authenticity of the illness but should advise parents of their intention. Schools are advised not to request medical evidence unnecessarily. Medical evidence can take the form of prescriptions, appointment cards, etc. rather than doctors’ notes.

Guidance from the British Medical Association (BMA) states:

It should be noted that GPs do not provide sick notes for schoolchildren. When children are absent from school owing to illness, schools may request a letter from a parent or guardian, and this is no different during an exam period.

A recent judgement by the Local Government Ombudsman (LGO) reminds Local Authorities that the duty to provide an alternative education may arise for reasons other than exclusion and illness.  And it is worth remembering this applies to all children, irrespective of the type of school they attend.

So, if you decide to take this route, take your child to the doctor and get it put on record that you have concerns about their emotional health.  Ask for whatever help they can provide.  And because you always need to evidence everything, get appointment cards as your evidence.

When we told my son he didn’t have to go to school, it was like a weight was lifted from his shoulders.He immediately walked lighter, stood taller and relaxed. We gave him time to heal and then tried to gradually re-introduce him.