Protesting is a Warning
Continuing the series of how we can better read children’s behaviour, this week we are looking at protesting.
I describe protesting as behaviour that is challenging at school and compliant at home. This behaviour is a warning. It tells us that all is not well in the school environment and if ignored will result in an escalation to rebelling. It may be a problem with the physical environment, or it could be there is a lack of empathy or expertise.
I describe protesting as behaviour that is challenging at school and compliant at home. This behaviour is a warning. It tells us that all is not well in the school environment and if ignored will result in an escalation to rebelling. It may be a problem with the physical environment, or it could be there is a lack of empathy or expertise.
When I think about protesting I’m minded to think of bees. My mother has kept bees for over 30 years and this year with great sadness she is hanging up her veil for the last time, with her hives all going to great new homes.
A beehive is an amazing place – 10,000 bees quietly minding their own business in their own micro-community. All know their roles and responsibilities and get on with them perfectly. There is rarely any trouble and we have spent many happy hours in my parent’s garden alongside 60,000+ bees.
However when the bee-keeper goes to take a look and changes their environment by opening up the hive, many bees get quite feisty, and those who really don’t like what is happening to their environment demonstrate their protest by persistently bothering the bee-keeper who is thankful for their protective clothing. I’ve known my mum to have to walk all the way into the house to get rid of some serious protesters.
We have to understand that protest is about creating change. Children protesting in this way, are trying to tell us, via their behaviour that something in the environment doesn’t work for them.
This quote sums it up perfectly.
I am mindful that the goal of protest is not more protest, but the goal of protest is change.
— DERAY MCKESSON
Unfortunately, it can be difficult to have a conversation with those in the environment who may only see the negative behaviour. They may find it difficult to understand their environment or behaviour is contributing to the level of protest and may get quite defensive if you do approach them.
If this is your child:
keep a dialogue with school open – ask to be kept informed when incidents happen and discuss them in the calm at home to see what insight you can gain
look for reasonable adjustments that schools can make to eliminate the cause of the problems
reassure your child you are on their side and you are working hard to help them get through the challenges
