Retracting into their shell (aka Withdrawing)
There is a problematic phenomenon among some pet snails, whereby they retract deeply into their shells and do not protect themselves with a hard epiphragm (temporary structure). Attempts to understand this phenomenon have largely failed, however, it is commonly associated with malnutrition. For the most part, the problematic snail lives with other snails and its lack of appetite and inactivity goes unnoticed for longer than if the snail was kept in isolation.
This condition is generally fatal in snails, who present over time with the loss of appetite, loss of activity and long periods buried within their shells. This develops into a loss of weight and of shell colour until they eventually become hard to wake up, taking longer and longer to stir.
These snails are not unlike some children, who whilst exhibiting compliant behaviour both at home and at school, are, like the snails withdrawing. Like the snails, among a busy class or within a busy family this behaviour can go unnoticed for some time until their lethargy becomes so pronounced they start to stand out. Thankfully this isn’t generally fatal for children, however, it is the case that there are many children who do take their own lives.
In some ways, our children who are struggling and withdraw in order to deal with it, are at most risk. Their behaviour is often overlooked, and withdrawing from the world prevents them from accessing learning. These children may rarely put up their hand in the classroom, might prefer to sit quietly in the playground or choose to stay inside or help teachers at break time. At home, they may bury themselves in books, or computer games, rarely interacting with friends or enjoying time outside. One good indicator for these children is the extent and nature of their friendships. A lack of friendships can have serious consequences.
In a 2010 study, Rubin, Root and Bowker found the absence of friendship, the presence of unstable friendships, and having a withdrawn best friend represent friendship “risk” factors for socially withdrawn children.
Their withdrawal from the world often stems from anxiety, both social and otherwise. This may be due to an underlying diagnosis as yet unidentified. Think about the child with ASD who is struggling to navigate social interactions, and has high levels of associated anxiety, who decides to simply keep their head down and stay invisible.
I think nerves stop you from doing things.
Make you stop and maybe make you withdraw.— MICHAEL PENA
If this is your child:
Recognise that withdrawing may be a symptom of an underlying difficulty with which they need help
Develop a sixth sense of what is going on for them
Work with staff to reduce levels of anxiety through relevant and appropriate support
Cultivate friendships through 1:1 activities in school or facilitated play dates at home
