Children know what they need
When my son was first identified with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) we enrolled him in weekly occupational therapy sessions. I’ll admit at the time I was very uncomfortable with the idea that the goals would be set a couple of sessions into the programme after the therapist had got to know him. It was a significant sum of money we were investing, into something that seemed quite ‘wacky’ at the time.
When we got to the first session, he seemed to be allowed to ‘do what he wanted’ and I began to feel even more uncomfortable. Thankfully though, I was allowed to sit in on the sessions and over the course of the programme, the therapist explained frequently explained what was happening and why.
She explained how he was naturally attracted to hanging and spinning activities because that is what his body needs to feel regulated. She was able to explain to me how what he was doing was helping him, and the signs she was looking for to spot that he’d had enough and needed to start on a calming activity. She gently pushed him, to achieve the therapeutic aims, and yet she allowed him to lead the session, showing her what he needed.
That was 5 years ago, and she was right. I now see him craving certain activities when he is overwhelmed; he needs them to feel right. Somehow at the age of 7 he already knew this, even though at that time, none of us knew anything about these mysterious sensory experiences.
I was reminded of this last week when a client called me to say they have found the right school. The reason they knew it was the right school, was that their son, who has been unable to attend school since last December, drew a picture of his ideal school earlier this year. At the time, we all thought it was impossible. What he drew was so unlike any school we had ever experienced, and as time has gone on, and the prospect of re-introducing him to school has looked less and less likely we were all coming to the conclusion that he needed something other than ‘school’ to re-engage him with learning.
And then they visited a school which looked just like his picture. It did exist. And he was comfortable in the environment. He knew what he needed, and whilst he couldn’t verbalise it, he could draw it.
Children know what they need. When they are young, and even as teenagers they often struggle to verbalise it. However, through art or play therapy drawing a picture or role playing a scenario, they are able to express what they need, if we are able to hear what they are saying.
On the path to success for our children who struggle, the first step is empathy. Being able to draw or role-play what they need, no matter how young is a fabulous way for us to listen carefully.
